The act of being still and holding faith is not for the faint of heart.
What is the energy that keeps the bud closed tight, then one day, slowly opens to relieve itself to the world? It seems slow to the human eye but for its creator, the flower’s opening is outside the realm of time. It is happening as it was created.
I feel like a bud that is starting to open, from the inside. I don’t know what kind of flower I will be, but I know this awakening has started to happen.
I am officially divorced, I’ve sold my house and I’ve packing-up twenty five years of my life to fit into a 10′ x 15′ storage unit. I did this all without knowing where I would be living with the kids next month or where I will be running my business’ that will support the kids and me. Just writing these words would make most people itch with anxiety but I traveled on with faith.
The answers will come, there will be a home, the next phase is already set for me to step into…. I believe.
Preparing myself for this day has been years in the making. Years of knowing I was not meant to be with the person I was married to. I was not being authentic to who I was, to my truth. I have a choice, we all have a choice to lead an authentic life. When will be a right time to live that life? Most people wait until they are dying to share their truth and it has nothing to do with bank accounts, houses, cars or diplomas, it the love they shared with other humans, daily experiences, in the intangible.
If you are brave enough to live in that love, it will keep you.
If you are courageous enough to let everything material become secondary, love will keep you.
If you are grounded enough to stay still while you take that huge leap, God will keep you in the palm of it’s hand. I believe.
Through a series of friends, I found a house to rent that will be perfect for the kids, dog and me. It is down in Stony Brook village where we can walk to shops, restaurants, beaches and watch the sunset over the harbor, where I spent my childhood. I am thinking of it as a vacation home for a year. A vacation where we get to live a more authentic life, with a strong faith in God’s plan. Is that not what we should do? Do our best to follow our inner voice, that piece of God that resides in each one of us and feel freely guided by God’s plan.
The opposite of Fear is Love.
I was free falling a far distance, it would take a metamorphosis to become renewed. I would always be guided and gently land in the place of peace and wholeness, for that was my intention. That is where love resides.
Thank you for the lesson in stillness, faith and love.
You are going to be O.K. – Eileen